Little Johnny

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench, eating six bars of chocolate.

A man walked up and noticed Johnny devouring the sweets.

“Son,” said the man, “eating too much candy isn’t good for you.”

“My grandfather lived to be 100,” Johnny replies.

“Did he eat six chocolate bars a day, too?” the man asks.

“No,” said Johnny, “He minded his own fucking business.”

A guy walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to a very muscular man.

He asks the man, "Wow. I didn't realize you could look that great and drink! What are you drinking?" The man responds, "Why, this is magic beer." The guy, feeling a little insulted responds, "Oh yeah? What's so magical about it?" The man stands up, walk over to the edge of the building, jumps off, and flies around the building. He flies back up to his seat with a triumphant smile. The guy says, "Wow! Amazing! Let me try some of that magic stuff." The man orders him one, and says "This one's on me." The guy chugs the beer immediately, walk to the roof, jumps off, and falls fifteen stories to his death. The bartender shakes his head, looks at the man and says, "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

I apologize in advance. Superman must not really be such a nice guy.


Batman and Superman were flying by Paradise Island and saw Wonderwoman sunbathing in the nude on a remote beach.  Superman says, "I bet I could fly down and nail her and fly off before she even knows what happened.  Batman said their was no way.  Superman flew down, did his thing and flew off.  Wonderwoman said "What was that"?  The invisible man said "I don't know, but my butt hurts.

Don't apologize

Crusader wrote:I apologize in advance.  Superman must not really be such a nice guy.


Batman and Superman were flying by Paradise Island and saw Wonderwoman sunbathing in the nude on a remote beach.  Superman says, "I bet I could fly down and nail her and fly off before she even knows what happened.  Batman said their was no way.  Superman flew down, did his thing and flew off.  Wonderwoman said "What was that"?  The invisible man said "I don't know, but my butt hurts.

Lmao! Unlike the invisible man.